that part when hard things happen

My friend Sam and I have a long-running joke about the dining hall at school. Every time, both of us circle the room, looking for something that appeals to us-- and inevitably end up back at the pasta line. 'And while he was still a long way off...' we intone, because we love taking Bible verses way out of context.

It would seem that for the next few weeks, at least, this will no longer be the case. Because I, the girl who has 'Carbs' listed as one of her 'Activities' on Facebook, think I might be gluten intolerant.

Yeah. It's pretty terrifying.

Ever since last fall, I've been suspecting that some things I was eating in the DH were causing me trouble. Particularly after eating a meal like pasta stir-fry or a grilled ham & cheese sandwich, I would feel lethargic, distracted, and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. I just chalked it up to chemicals in the lunchmeat, because really, that stuff IS kind of gross.

But after a summer living at home and eating pretty safely, especially since my mom has gone on a health food kick thanks to the Vitamix (ALL the green smoothies!), I can no longer blame bad processed meat. No, I think the fault lies somewhere else.

Like gluten.

The thing that tipped me off was actually a celiac Facebook friend's post with 10 Signs You're Gluten Intolerant. I had never seen gluten linked with skin problems before, but that was a major, major red flag. So I did some more research, which froze my face into a shape much like the one pictured.

I have had eczema for as long as I can remember. Eczema is... awful. The best way I can think to describe it is layers upon layers of tiny little blisters that perpetually feel like blisters do right when they're about to fall off (read: intensely itchy). The more you scratch at them, the more layers of blisters build up, and the deeper the itch runs. Parts of my body have come close to losing all feeling because of so many years of this... the nerves are dead to everything but insatiable itch.

Eczema has been not only a physical trial for me, but also a social and spiritual one. It's hard to be a 6-year-old in a gymnastics leotard or a 16-year-old in a bathing suit when you have rashes and scars all over your legs. And it's hard to pray when your whole consciousness is being constantly tugged to an itch that does not go away, unless you lather it with cream that instead makes the whole area burn so deeply that you literally can't think about anything except how much it hurts.

And it turns out that, for a lot of cases which, like mine, didn't go away at puberty and don't have any other immediate links, gluten intolerance can be a factor in the flaring up of eczema. Who knew?

So I'm going to try the elimination diet for a few weeks and see what happens. Could be rough going; we'll see. (By 'could be' I mean 'absolutely will be'-- I am an unrepentant carboholic, so I don't know if I will actually be able to make it longer than a few days. erk. haha)